Satin Dress
by ChaoticallyCalm
Summary: Quinn took a deep breath as she finished her last text to the person who owned her heart. "I love you, Rach." she whispered to herself as she slammed her gas down and drove her car into the oncoming truck. "I'll miss you" she murmured to herself as everything went black.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So this is something I thought of a short time ago, and finally had the courage to put up. I will say now there will be triggering things in this story. Not necessarily in this chapter, but in the chapters to come. I love you for reading. Please tell me what you think. **

Quinn breathed in the cold November air. As she sat in her car, she thought about everything that had happened up to this point in her life. '_I've been pregnant, kicked out, kicked out again, lost all my friends, my baby, everything. I have everyone back but Beth...'. _she thought. Tears brimmed in her eyes, threatening to come out. Shelby was back. She had a chance to have Beth in her life. She would be able to see her little girl grow older, she'd get to hold her again. Tears fell from her eyes as she thought of her blonde beauty. She shook her head and wiped her eyes, getting out of her car and made her way inside McKinley. She hadn't moved on from giving Beth up. She still laid awake at night thinking about how if Beth were still hers how much happier she would be. Yet, she knew Beth was in the right place, even if the blonde girl missed her. She opened the entrance doors and made her way to the classroom she had refused to walk into since the school year started.

"Shelby, Can we talk?" Quinn said as she walked into the classroom. Shelby looked up from her papers and nodded with a confused look on face. Quinn never wanted to talk to her before, in fact, the brunette thought she would never speak to her again. Fear was all over the teens face as she opened her mouth to speak.

"I can't see Beth. I know you asked Puck and I, but I just can't right now."

Shelby stood up from her desk and walked over to where Quinn was standing. '_God she looks like Beth' _she thought as she looked at the blonde girl in front of her.

"Do you understand what you're doing? What you're giving up?" she asked quietly. The blonde nodded. Shelby could see the tears in Quinns eyes as she spoke.

"I understand. I just, I have so much going on. I can't handle it all mentally. Thank you for asking though." The blonde looked down after she finished speaking. The two women jumped slightly when the first period bell rang. Quinn looked up and nodded at Shelby before scurrying out the classroom

Just as the late bell rang, Quinn walked through her first period classroom door. She looked around the small room and saw that every seat was filled other than one next to Rachel. She huffed in annoyance and plopped down on the seat. Wiping her eyes, she took out her notebook and started taking notes hoping the diva next to her would refrain from speaking to her.

"Here." Rachel whispered as she held out kleenex. The blonde looked over at her, thanks in her eyes as she took the tissue. She wiped off her smeared make up and dried tears, thanking God that she brought her make up to school with her today.

Rachel glanced over at the HBIC next to her as she put more make up on.

"You don't need that, Quinn." she said quietly. The blonde halted her movements for a moment before continuing. After putting her face back on, she looked over at Rachel scribbling down notes. On a normal day, she would also be writing down notes. She absolutely loved creative writing. It was her favorite class, and one day, she hoped to become a writer.

"So you'll be partnering up with the person next to you. You'll be creating a Romeo and Juliet – esque story, but for children. I want it illustrated as best as you can." the teacher basically yelled. '_God that man is loud' _Quinn thought frowning.

"Um..." Rachel said trying to get the blondes attention. She timidly touched the blondes forearm bringing the blonde out of her thoughts.

"I know. Uh, you can draw right? She asked the short brunette. Rachel nodded, refraining from speaking because of how unhappy the blonde looked.

"I'll go ahead and write it, then give it to you to illustrate it." she yelled over the bell ringing. Rachel nodded and gathered her things. Working with the blonde should be easy.

"SANTANA STOP IT!" Quinn screamed in the choir room, chasing the Latina around the chairs. They both along with Brittany had gotten there early and being the only three in the room, Santana had to fuck with someone. Quinn could deal with teasing and empty insults form the raven haired girl, but not her taking the blondes journal. Santana opened up the journal up to a random page, making Quinn's breathing stop completely. That journal had Quinn's hopes, dreams, and every thought. Some of thoughts weren't for eyes to see.

"Q..." was all the caramel colored girl said as she gave the notebook back to the blonde before engulfing her in a hug.

"I'd miss you." she murmured against the blondes hair. Eyes threatened each girls eyes to fall, both choked them back as people started filing in the classroom. They let each other go and sat in their normal seats in the back. Brittany on Santana's left side and Quinn on her right. The couple intertwined their hands as soon as they both sat down. '_I want that.' _she thought, slightly jealous.

"Can I sit here, please." a voice asked, interrupting Quinn's thoughts. Quinn looked over and saw that it was Rachel. Her eyes moved to Finn, who looked constipated per usual. She nodded at the short girl, moving her bag and books to the floor underneath her. Rachel smiled a thanks and sat down. She turned her head to look at her boyfriend, who looked back at her with apologetic eyes. Rachel pressed her lips together and looked forward, waiting for Mr. Schuester to start the lesson for the week

"This week, we're going to work on sexuality." he said with enthusiasm.

"Not that I'm complaining, but we've done this before Mr. Schue." Santana replied. The other glee clubbers nodded in agreement, some voicing their 'yeahs'.

"Yes, but as I remember, you guys worked on YOUR OWN sexuality. This week I want you to explore the opposite of yours. You kids are accepting of others, but you don't understand others." he explained. "This week, you'll get a partner and I want you both to explore the sexual orientation opposite of yours. Then, you'll choose a song you think describes what you went through either emotionally, physically, or whatever." he said, picking up the hats from which the kids would pick their partners names.

The first to pick their partners name was Santana. Reaching into one of the hats, she plucked out a small piece of paper, smiling at the name printed across it.

"Kurt." she said smirking. The pretty boy huffed. He wanted to be partnered with Mercedes or Rachel, not Satan, but hopefully she wouldn't be too bad for a week.

The next up was Brittany, who chose Blaine. Then Mercedes who got Tina. Puck stood up and raced to the hats, getting there right before Rachel, sending her huffing back to her seat in annoyance. The mohawked boy plucked a name out of the hat, and laughed.

"Finn, my brothaa." he exclaimed sitting down next to the tall boy. He liked all of the members of New Directions, but he was glad he got Finn instead of another guy. Artie wheeled up next, chosing Mike.

"Ironic." Tina whispered. Her current and her ex boyfriend we're boyfriends for a week. She laughed to herself at the thought. Sugar stood up next to choose a name, smiling to herself as she read the name on the paper.

"SAMMY!" she shouted excitedly. She sat on the trouty mouthed boys lap and smiled. She had always sort of liked the blonde boy, he was really sweet and his body was to die for.

"I don't think I need to pick a partner, Mr. Schue." Rachel said timidly looking at the blonde next to her. Mr. Schuester shook his head and replied.

"You'll be partnered with Quinn." The blonde girl looked over at the greasy haired teacher and stood up.

"Fuck that shit, Mr. Schue. I'm not about to be all faggoty with fucking Man Hands." she shouted in defiance.

"You will be, or you are out of glee club." he spoke with finality. Quinn reluctantly sat back down.

"This is exactly what I'm talking about guys. You can really hurt someone with those words, and you don't realize how bad until those words are being used to describe you." he said turning his back to the students to write on the board. Quinn huffed. She wasn't homophobic, she just didn't want to be paired with Rachel. She _couldn't_ be paired with Rachel.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I know Quinn is not in her character. This story is VERY AU. I love the reviews and I love you guys. Please tell me what you guys think, it's greatly appreciated. I own nothing. **

Rachel woke up the next day to her alarm blaring. She groaned but turned off the cacophony, and sat up in her bed. She went through her normal routine of going through her Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, before texting Finn to attempt to make plans. Their fight was stupid, and they had no real reason to be mad at each other. Or, that's how he saw it. She set her phone down on her bed and stood up to look in her full length mirror. She let her hand graze her stomach, pinching the fat she saw with a frown on her face. _"If I can pinch it, I can lose it." _she thought. She felt like she was hundreds of pounds, and Finn always joked about how big she was. It didn't help her, and she finally got the guts to say something to him, and he got mad. She pinched herself once more before leaving the mirror to go on her elliptical. She would get skinny if it killed her.

After an hour on the machine, she showered and got ready for school. Finn usually picked her up for school, but since he still wasn't talking to the diva, she was forced to walk. As she left her house, she smiled. Autumn was her favorite season. It made her think of when she was little and her dads were actually around, and how they would make her coffee when it was cold because she wanted to 'be grown up' with them. She missed her younger years. It was easier, and nothing ever hurt, except when she scraped her knee or something of the sort. Now, at 18, she felt like the entire world was trying to crush her, like every worry, every pain had been put on her specifically and no one would lift even the smallest thing from her back. She was only a quarter of the way to school when she heard a car honk at her before pulling over. It was a dark blue Kia Soul. She didn't recognize it at all, so she kept walking. The driver pulled the window down, revealing their face.

"Quinn?" the brunette asked.

"My car is in the shop, so my mom let me use hers. Get in!" she smiled. Rachel smiled back before jogging over to the passengers side. Jumping in the car, she remembered Quinns comment from the day before.

"Look, I wanna apologize for yesterday." the blonde started. "I have nothing against gays, or you, or anything. I promise I don't. You push me, and I hate being pushed. Being partnered with you, I know I'll be pushed to actually get something out of the lesson, and that's actually sort of intimidating. So I'm sorry." Rachel looked at the blondes eyes. They always took her breath away, with the gold running in chains around the dark green.

"You're forgiven, Quinn." the brunette said with a slight blush on her cheeks. Quinn smiled, an actual one, which made Rachel even more breathless than before.

"I was thinking of going to Starbucks before class. Is that okay?" she asked. The smaller girl nodded and sat back in her seat. She pointed at the radio, and the blonde girl next to her nodded, slightly chuckling. Ed Sheeran filled the silence in the car, along with Rachel softly singing along with every song. As they pulled up to Starbucks, Rachel smiled. Finn always hated coffee, and she didn't understand how. Coffee was her home away from home.

"Are you coming in as well? It's my treat." Quinn said as she opened her car door. Rachel looked at the blonde for a moment before humming 'mhm' and getting out of the car.

School had been going relatively well, Quinn hadn't seen Shelby, she had plans with Santana for lunch, and she was getting her car fixed. "_Maybe things are turning around, finally" _she thought. She had her best friend back, which was the happiest part of the day. She missed the Latina. Quinn had lost her due to her pregnancy, and then the raven haired girl's insecurities about her sexuality kept her from talking to the blonde girl for quite some time.

"Ready, Q?" Santana said coming around the corner. Quinn nodded and walked with the Latina out the door to her car. They were going in Quinn's car, Santana was paying for lunch, and Quinn got to use her gas. It was how they did things. They pulled up to Breadstix, and the Latina waited eagerly for the blonde to park.

"Hurry up, Fabray. I needs me some Breadstix." she said in her fake ghetto accent. The blonde laughed as she parked and got out of her car.

As they sat in the restaurant and waited for their food Santana stared at Quinn. The blonde had changed so much in the past three years. From the baby to now, the blonde had matured and gotten much more closed off. She didn't blame the girl though. Everyone, including the Latina herself, abandoned the blonde because of her pregnancy. She still regretted doing that.

"I've missed you, Quinn." Santana said quietly. The blonde smiled.

"I've missed you too."

"What was with that comment yesterday, Quinn? Like, that hurt." the tan girl said looking at her glass of water, twirling the straw around.

"Honestly? I don't really know. Rachel pushes me, and you know how much I hate that. It just kind of came out. I'm sorry, S. You know I don't care about your sexuality." the blonde girl answered. She watched the Latina twirl her straw around and avoid making eye contact. "_Typical Santana"_ she thought. The girl would never change. Even when they were kids, whenever they would talk about feelings, Santana would avoid eye contact. It was kind of cute, at least that's what Quinn thought.

"Okay. One more serious thing before we can joke around and be normal." the Latina started. Quinn nodded, allowing her continue.

"Lift your sleeves." she choked out. Quinns eyes got large and her jaw dropped. Tears welled up in her eyes and her hands started to tremble. "_How did she find out? She must hate me now. She must think I'm some pathetic little girl"_ the blonde's thoughts raced. Santana looked down at the blondes arms, as she slightly raised her right sleeve. Scars covered her pale skin. Some were almost faded, some were pink, showing their newness. As the blonde continued bringing her sleeve up near her elbow, the girl opposite of her sat with tears in her eyes. The scars turned into new cuts. Bruises laid around the fresh cuts, and some were too deep to scab. Santana reached out and lightly pressed her fingers over the scars on the blonde girls soft skin. "_How can she do this to herself? What's so bad that she has to hurt herself?"_ the Latina thought. She reached up and brought the girls sleeve back down before clearing her throat. She looked at the girl in front of her. She realized now the broken look her hazel eyes. She saw that her smile never reached her eyes. Santana realized just how broken Quinn really was, the girl was broken into pieces, pieces that were hard to put back together because the blonde had locked them all in so no one could break her more.

"I don't understand it. But I love you, Quinn. I'll always be here, okay?" Santana said quietly as the waitress brought their food. Quinn nodded, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Thank you." she answered turning her attention to the food in front of her.

The rest of the day went off without any more tears. Quinn was happy she had lunch with her friend, even with what had happened. She had someone who cared, and not the fake kind of caring. The Latinas tears were real, and even though Quinn wished the girl hadn't of cried, it was nice to see that someone loved her.

"Quinn, may I sit next to you. We are partners." Rachel said, bringing her out of her thoughts.

"You don't have to ask, of course you can." the blonde answered. The two made small talk, Rachel making the blonde smile throughout their conversation. Santana looked at the blonde talk to the diva. There was something more going on with the blonde. She said she didn't like Rachel at all, but whenever she was around the midget, her smiles finally reached her eyes and she didn't look as lost. "_Maybe Fabray is Fabgay."_she thought, making herself chuckle. _"Whatever floats her boat"._

"Alrighty guys, how has the project been? Anyone have a song?" Mr. Schue asked the class as he walked into the choir room. Puck stood up and walked to the front of the classroom.

"I got to thinking, and I have a song actually." he said looking at the teacher with a serious look. The curly haired teacher nodded with a smile before taking a seat and watching Finn stand up as well to sing along with his partner. The mohawked boy picked up his guitar and looked over at his friend, who nodded as he pulled two stools to the center of the room. Puck started strumming a familiar tune. He sat down on the stool next to the tall boy and opened his mouth to sing.

_Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I don;t like your girlfriend!  
No way! No way!  
I think you need a new one _

The song was obviously a joke, but Rachel looked down, stung by the words. Quinn looked over at the sad girl and frowned. She was always so sad because of Finn, she deserved so much better. She reached for the divas hand, intertwining the fingers. Rachel looked up at the blonde and smiled, thanking her for the gesture. She needed the comfort. The boys continued their acoustic version of the song, making the glee clubbers laugh at their enthusiasm for the lesson.

_In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger__  
__'cause I can, 'cause I can do it better__  
__There's no other__  
__So when's it gonna sink in?__  
__She's so stupid__  
__What the hell were you thinking?!_

As Finn ended the song, the clubbers clapped. Rachel was completely zoned out, she was concentrating on the feeling of Quinns thumb softly rubbing hers. Her touch was calming yet so exciting. The brunette didn't understand why the girls touch was so intoxicating, so she shook the thought off. She let go of her hand as glee club dismissed.

"Rach, can we talk?" asked the divas boyfriend. Rachel looked over at Quinn as she left the room with Brittany and Santana.

"Sure, Finn."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So I need your feedback guys. I need song suggestions for the groups you wanna see. I can't decide the songs, so please help me. :). Also, thank you for reading. I love you. **

Rachel sat down in the choir room once again. Finn sat down clumsily next to her, and smiled his usual goofy smile. She waited. She loved him, but it wasn't solely her fault they were fighting. It was his too, and for once, she wasn't going to grovel for his forgiveness.

"So I was thinking, and I pretty much decided that I forgive you." he said seriously. Her jaw dropped in surprise. He was slow, but he usually wasn't this bad.

"Finn, you are in the wrong as well. I have issues and you have to understand that." she spoke slowly looking at the handsome boy next to her. While she was mad he was only blaming her, well, her eating problem, she loved him. Memories of them together flooded her mind. She remembered their first date, Finn looked so nervous it looked like he was going to explode when he talked to Rachel's dads. She remembered the first 'I love you' they shared. Finn had said it to her out of nowhere in her bedroom one day. They had been singing random songs, just messing around but when he said it, Rachel knew she would never be able to forget that day. It was the day she realized she wouldn't be alone again in the world.

"I do. Just eat, Rach. It's not hard. I'll even buy you vegan stuff for when you're at my house. I just don't wanna see you do that to yourself." he said quietly. Rachel melted. Finn was the most caring person she knew other than her fathers. She smiled.

"That sounds amazing, Finn. You sang wonderfully today." she laughed out. He laughed. Hanging out with Puck was awesome. He missed how close the two boys used to be. Puck was the one who helped him figure out what to say to Rachel. Not enough people gave the tan boy credit, he was smart, and he knew girls.

"How's working with Quinn?" he said standing, taking her hand as he stood, as to leave the choir room. Rachel stood with him, intertwining their fingers with a smile on her face. '_God, I love him_' she thought.

"Not as bad as I thought it was going to be. She's quite nice, actually." she answered as they made their way to the boys truck. Finn nodded. He was glad he didn't have to make Quinn play nice anymore. Quinn scared the boy more than he would admit.

As they entered Finn's truck, Rachel couldn't help but notice that Quinn's car was much easier to get into, and much more comfortable as well. She shook her head, as to shake the comparison. She pulled out her phone as Finn started the car and texted the blonde.

**R: Hello, Quinn. Seeing as we are partners for both English and Glee club, I was wondering if we could work on our project? **

The diva put her phone back in her pocket and turned to her boyfriend. She loved the face he made when he drove, his eyes always squinted slightly and pressed his lips together. He looked so concentrated she hated to break it, but she needed to be at home in case Quinn could work on their projects.

"Finn, I need you to take me home today." she said looking at the boy as he turned his head slightly to her. A disappointed look filled the boys features, making the brunette frown.

"Why?" he asked turning back to the road, turning down Rachel's street. He missed the diva, yeah she talked too much, and he never understood most of the things she said, but he loved her anyway.

"I have too much homework. Hang out with Puck, and I'll text you later." she said looking warily at the boy. He frowned but eventually smiled.

"Okay, Rach. I love you." he said pulling into her drive way. He turned towards the brunette and leaned in, giving her a chaste kiss. She smiled into the kiss but broke away from it. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and she opened the truck door.

"I love you too." she said, getting out of the truck and reading Quinn's text.

**Q: On my way over. I'm bringing snacks and coffee.**

The small girl smiled at the text and walked inside. She went directly upstairs, knowing her fathers wouldn't be home until the weekend anyway. They were gone most of the time, seeing as they both worked out of the city. They were usually home on the weekends, unless something came up, but Rachel didn't really mind. Them being gone meant no one told her to eat, and she loved when she could skip a meal. Whenever she ate, she felt the pounds add to her body. She always felt disgusting after, hence why she became a vegan. It was an acceptable way to not eat, because her "diet" wouldn't allow most foods. She heard a car pull into her driveway as she laid down on her bed. Blankets surrounded her, making her feel safe and warm. Her phone started blaring Barbra, and she looked at the caller ID laughing.

"Just come in, Quinn. My dad's aren't home." she said as she answered the phone. She heard the blonde chuckle lightly before hanging up. The blonde walked up the stairs of the Berry home. Rachel's home had always been more welcoming than hers. It was warm and always smelled like lavender. The Fabray home looked and felt cold and lifeless, very much unlike Rachel's home. She reached the small girls bedroom and opened the door to a snuggled up Rachel. The girls room was much different than expected. It was a soft blue, with posters everywhere. The brunette had a full length mirror right next to a door, which the blonde presumed was the bathroom. The HBIC looked over at the corner of the room where Rachels desk was and saw magazines aplenty. Most were closed but pictures of skinny girls were all cut out, and laying on top of the closed booklets.

"Here's your coffee. It's soy, don't worry." the hazel eyed girl said walking over to the king size bed where Rachel was laying. The girl sat up and took the coffee, quietly thanked the girl standing.

"Sit, get out the snacks, and we can start on the English project." the diva said laughing, as she picked up her school things and set them on the bed. The blonde sat down and pulled out the Oreo's and chips.

"Usually, I'm a chips ahoy person, but you're vegan" she said as she opened the cookies. The diva looked at the food with hesitant eyes, but smiled at the blonde.  
~~~~

After a few hours of working on their English project they were finally finished. The blonde watched the diva as she looked at the food with fear in her eyes.

"You don't have to eat, Rachel." the blonde said, looking the brown eyed girl in the eyes. The blonde's heart started pounding. _"Who knew brown eyes could be so captivating" _she thought. The diva looked down and picked up an Oreo. She knew she had to eat, or Quinn would wonder why she hadn't.

"Will you think I'm weird if I don't?" the diva asked, her voice wavering. The blonde looked at the girl in front of her. She shook her head, took the Oreo from Rachel, and put it back in the box, before setting the food off the bed. Rachel sighed with relief. Why was Quinn being so understanding? She didn't understand the taller girl at all. Quinn took out her phone and started looking through her music, so the two girls could start working on their performance for the end of the week.

"Quinn, aren't you hot? My house is slightly heated and your wearing a jacket." Rachel said looking at the blonde as she realized the blonde was still wearing her leather jacket. It looked good on the girl, Rachel had to admit, but it wasn't cold in her house, so she didn't see the need for it. The blonde sat frozen. She looked up at the diva, who had concern written over her face. The blonde was indeed hot, but she couldn't just take off her jacket and let the girl see her arm. She'd runaway, or tell people, or both.

"Tell me why you don't eat." the blonde said, ignoring the brunette's question. The diva's eyes widened.

"Do you want the truth or?" Rachel asked quietly. Quinn scooted closer to the diva and took her hand.

"The truth." she simply whispered. The diva exhaled loudly before she started.

"I want to be skinny and pretty. When I eat, feel disgusting and fat and so worthless. I literally feel the weight gain when I eat, even though I know that isn't actually possible. When I do eat, I usually end up puking everything up, anyway." the blonde looked at the smaller girl and let go of their hands. She took a deep breath as she slipped her jacket off. Rachels breath hitched and her face filled with more concern than the other girl had ever seen.

"I wear my jacket, because it's easier to wear it proudly than it is my scars." she whispered. Rachel took the blondes arm and ran her index finger over the scars and ran it up to the cuts that were still healing.

"Why do you do it?" she whispered as she took the blondes hand once again. Quinn relaxed at the gesture. She didn't know what it was about Rachel, but she felt so comfortable, so at home. When she was with her, that talking about this stuff wasn't as difficult as it usually was.

"You feel worthless when you eat, I feel worthless when I breathe. I don't really even know how it started. Everyday is such a battle to get through. I'm lonely, I have no one, I'm scared, lost, cutting helps that all go away for a little bit." the blonde answered as Rachel drew shapes on the top of her hand with her finger. Quinn looked down at their hands. The contrast of their skin tones looked wonderful, Rachel's tan skin melding with Quinn's paleness was the most beautiful contrast the hazel eyed girl had ever seen.

"Well now you have me." the diva whispered, making Quinn's heartache with how honest it sounded. Maybe Rachel was the friend she had always needed, but was too afraid to have. Maybe it was more than either of them could imagine.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Italics is for Kurt, Bold is for Santana, Italic Bold is both. Thanks for reading, love you. **

Kurt sat on his bed with Santana. They had been hanging out a bit due to the glee club lesson, and he did have to admit Satan wasn't that bad. She was actually kind of funny and she wasn't actually that mean. He flipped the page of the magazine he was reading and looked up at the Latina. She was looking for a song to do for glee club when she finally looked back at the boy. She smiles and continues looking. For a Broadway freak, Kurt has a huge variety of music. She kind of liked hanging out with the boy, he was sweet and he understood her humor without getting offended like Quinn usually did.

"Hey, I have a question." she says as she scrolls through his iTunes. He looks up at her slightly and motions for her to go ahead.

"Ask away." Santana stops what shes doing and turns to the boy. She looks at the scar on his neck. She had always wondered what happened. Until now, she knew they hadn't been close enough for him to tell her. She takes a deep breath before starting, making Kurt put down his magazine.

"What did the scar on your neck come from?" she says quietly, looking down. Kurt frowns, pulling his knees up to his chest. The brunette watches the action and inwardly curses herself for asking.

"It was my freshmen year," he starts. "I was realizing my sexuality, and I liked this boy. I mean, I really liked him. We talked everyday, all day. I waited months to tell him I loved him. He was a senior, though. Right before the end of the year, he came up to me and said he was engaged. It broke me" he says. The look in his eye, Santana can't place. She waits for him to continue.

"I decided if he was going to marry someone else, it wasn't worth it anymore. Life wasn't worth it. I helped him plan everything. Then on his wedding day, I stayed at home. I picked up a knife and started to cut. As you can see, I stopped. I started bleeding so much and I realized I didn't want that feeling to be the last one I felt. I got stitches and went to therapy for a while." he finished.

Santana stared at the boy after he finished talking. She had never known so many people, even people who seemed so happy, were struggling with such demons. Yeah, she had issues herself, but nothing that could ever bring her to hurting herself or risk her life. The Latina wished she could take all that pain, and all the heartache from the people she cared for so much and put it somewhere. She wished she could hug it all away. She took in a deep breath and gathered her thoughts. She wondered if Quinn had ever gotten to the point of suicide, or thought about it at least. She thought about how broken the blonde was, how lost and confused she seemed. She made a promise to herself right then, to help Quinn and make sure the hazel eyed girl never tried to take her life.

"Wow" she finally said quietly. The pretty boy just nodded. Something was going on in his friends mind. He wanted so desperately to know. He wondered if the brunette was dealing with depression. He shook the thought and walked over to where she was sitting and laughed. He saw the song they were going to sing.

"Britt" Santana muttered under her breath as she laid on her girlfriends bed. The blonde stopped scrolling through her Facebook and looked over at the tan girl. She was so lucky, to be with Santana, she could barely believe it. She set her laptop down on the floor and rolled over to the brunette and laid on her side to face her.

"San" she whispered back. Something was worrying Santana, the blonde could tell from a mile away. Usually she was chatty or horny. Not today, though. As she waited for the tan girl to speak, she ran her fingers soothingly across the girls arm. The Latina took a deep breath and looked at the blue eyes in front of her.

"I found out that Quinn has been... Hurting herself." Brittany stared into the deep brown eyes that were Santana's. She nodded. She figured as much. Since school started in the fall, she noticed how drawn back the blonde was, she noticed how the blonde always wore her jacket, and that her smile wasn't as bright.

"I saw the signs. I figured as much." she said, leaning in to drop a kiss on the Latina's cheek. Santana's breath quickened at the touch and she smiled. The blonde could always make her feel better, whether she was sick, worried, angry, with a simple touch.

"I don't want her to hurt herself to the point of no return, Britt." the brown eyed girl said as tears filled her eyes. Brittany frowned and took the girl in her arms. She peppered kisses on the shoulders of the brunette and rubbed her back. Brittany didn't know what to say. Of course she was worried as well, but she knew she couldn't control what the blonde would do. She could only be there to support her and show her that people cared about her. The tall girl turned her head and kissed the Latina in front of her. Santana's breath hitched, her girlfriend didn't cease to make her feel like a young teenage boy. Her fingers wrapped quickly into blonde hair, her mouth opened, allowing the girls tongue to fight for dominance with hers. The blonde smiled against the kiss, before abruptly ending it. Santana's eyes were glazed over and she was already panting. The Latina knew what game the blonde was playing, and she knew she wouldn't win.

"Sing with me?" Brittany asked, standing up and getting out her ipod. Santana nodded, she could never say no to that girl.

Santana and Kurt sat together as they waited for Mercedes and Tina to finish 'I Kissed A Girl'. The Latina looked over at her blonde friend, and watched her as she slyly stared at the diva beside her. Santana raised her brow. _'Interesting'_ she thought as she was patted on the leg by Kurt. It was their turn to sing and surprisingly, she was excited.

The music started and Kurt opened his mouth to start. He sassily walked around her as he sang.

"_I shoulda known when I got you alone  
That you were way too into me to know  
This isn't love boy, this ain't even close"_

Santana smiled at the boy and began her lines, looking at the clubbers in their seats, some singing along. She made eye contact with Quinn and smiled. The blonde smiled back and watched their performance halfheartedly. She and Rachel hadn't even chosen a song yet, the brunette hadn't been hanging out with her, but Finn.

"**But you always think we're something that we're not  
And now you call me every single night  
I only answer cause I'm too polite  
We happened once, or maybe it was twice  
Yeah you always make it hard for me to stop  
But you always think we're something that we're not"**

Rachel watched Santana and Kurt preform and smiled. They seemed to have gotten closer, and she was glad. Everyone seemed to really enjoy this weeks lesson. It even brought her and Finn closer together. She gripped his hand tighter and he smiled at her. She melted into him and continued paying attention to the group in the front of the room.

"_**Hey!**_

You wanna be more than just friends  
I can't go through this again  
Stop trying get inside my head  
Don't wanna do more than hookup  
It's getting stupid cause  
I shoulda known but I forgot  
That you think we're something that we're not"

The song ended and they bowed. The Latina looked over at Quinn and saw that the blonde had her eyes locked with Rachel and Finn's intertwined hands with a frown on her face. She frowned. She would have to talk to the hobbit about the HBIC, and soon. Before anything happened.

As glee club let out, Santana ran up to Rachel as the short girl was leaving the room.

"Rachel, can we speak?" she asked as the brunette turned towards her. The diva smiled her too bright smile and nodded. She kissed Finn goodbye and walked with the Latina.

"What is it Santana?" the girl asked. She and Santana had never spoken, really. Not unless it was an insult being thrown from the Latina's mouth. Rachel held no harsh feelings, however. She never did towards anyone.

"It's about Quinn."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry it's been a while. I've been sort of busy, but here is the next chapter. Remember to tell me what you guys think, review, message me on tumblr, anything. I really wanna know if I should continue or not. Bold is Quinn, Italics is Rachel, Bold Italics is both of them. The song is Anywhere But Here by Mayday Parade. **

Rachel sat on her bed with her knees to her chest that night. She felt so confused about her feelings about Quinn. She wanted to help her, but she knew that she couldn't unless the blonde wanted help. And from what Rachel saw, the blonde didn't want to talk about her issues, or get help from anyone. Santana made good points, though. She had known the blonde almost her entire life, which triumphed her few years of not even being close to the hazel eyed girl.

"_Quinn won't ask for help, Rachel. She never has, it's not in her to ask. She thinks that if she has to ask, then it's not worth it, that she isn't worth the help unless someone offers first." Santana said quietly as she sat on the stadium bench. Rachel sighed. _

"_But, every time I have offered in the past, she gets mad, and we grow further apart." Santana nodded, she knew this time was different. She had the inkling that Quinn was crushing on the diva, yet she couldn't tell the brunette that, that was for the blonde to let out. _

"_Rachel, I love Quinn like a sister. I don't wanna see her hurt herself, it's fucked up. She doesn't deserve that kind of pain. Just help me help her. Please." Santana said, her voice cracking towards the end. Rachel looked over at the Latina and nodded. She would help her, and she would help the blonde. _

Rachel sighed as she replayed the conversation with the Latina girl. Her phone buzzed, making her jump slightly. She picked it up and saw that Quinn had texted her asking to come over and practice the song Rachel had chosen. She looked at the time, but sent a text telling Quinn to come over anyway.

A few minutes later, there was a knock on Rachel's door. She smiled and got up to open the door, knowing the blonde girl would be on the other side.

"Hey" Quinn said as she handed Rachel a coffee. The blonde was already in what Rachel deemed her pajamas. It was a McKinnley sweatshirt and boxers. '_Even in pajamas she looks beautiful'_ she thought.

"So you want to do the song tomorrow? Rachel asked as the blonde sat down on the bed, one leg under her.

"That's what I wanted, yeah. But if you wanna do it another day, we can. I'm just sort of excited. It's one of my favorite songs."she answered, looking into the deep brown eyes. _'It's like looking into coffee, they're warm and comforting.' _she thought as the diva got out her ipod and its speaker.

"You will be staying the night, tonight. It's late already, it only makes sense." Quinn chuckled but agreed, as they began practicing for the following day.

Quinn woke up facing the brunettes back. She looked over at the clock, she still had a few minutes before the diva would wake up. She rolled over to her back and sighed. Her heart ached for some reason. She wanted Rachel to wake up, turn around, and hug her. She wanted to be in her arms. Her hand ran through her hair and she sat up right as the other girls alarm started going off. Rachel immediately sat up, turned her alarm off, and then her light on.

"Good morning, Quinn!" she said enthusiastically. Quinn just looked at her. Who in their right mind was that happy in the morning. She smiled and mumbled 'morning'. Rachel got up and went straight to her closet, pulling out jeans, a t-shirt, and a dress. She handed the blonde the jeans and t-shirt, and proceeded to strip off her pajamas to get dressed herself. The blonde allowed her eyes to graze Rachel's body and felt heat go through her entire body. She swallowed hard, and got up. Rachel had gone back into her closet for shoes while Quinn stripped and put on Rachels clothes.

They smelled like her. They smelled like coconuts and something uniquely Rachel.

"Do they fit?" Rachel asked, coming out of the closet with shoes for Quinn.

"Perfectly." Quinn answered as she reveled in the smell. She took the shoes and slid them on, before looking in the mirror at her face and hair.

"Ugh, I look terrible." Quinn muttered to herself. Rachel shot her head towards the blonde, a look of disbelief covered her features.

"You're the prettiest girl I've ever seen, Quinn." Quinn smiled, but shook her head. She would have to go home to get her jacket. Rachel had an extra toothbrush and they got ready the rest of the way before making their way to Quinns car.

"I have to get my jacket, then coffee, then we'll go to school. That okay?" Rachel nodded with a smile and turned on the song they would be singing on later that day.

"So who wants to preform today?" Mr. Schue asked as the class looked around at each other. Rachel and Quinn stood up, and made their way to the front of the classroom, Rachel telling the guitarist what song they would be preforming. Quinn got two stools, and set them in the middle, and sat down on one of them, waiting for Rachel to sit on the other.

_Tonight is the one thing left  
And I haven't said it yet, I'm falling  
And the writings on the wall_

Today was misery  
And I just can't believe this happened  
And I finally broke down 

**She held onto my heart_  
_But now my only star is falling_  
_Its burning to the ground__**

Now I'm crying out

_**Secret love, my escape  
Take me far far away  
Secret love, are you there  
Will you answer my prayer  
Please take me anywhere but here**_

_**Anywhere but here **_

Quinn smiled at Rachel as she sang. She loved preforming next to the diva, it made her feel so accepted and for once, she felt good at she was doing. Rachel smiled back at her, as they continued.

**You're all I've got right now  
No one else figures out this feeling  
And how lonely it can get **

_These words can cut right through**  
**Cause all along I've knew you're sorry**  
**But you haven't said it yet_

_**When we're together  
Thoughts of him disappear  
If I fell to pieces  
You'd heal this pain I feel **_

**Secret love, my escape_  
_Take me far far away_  
_**_Secret love, are you there__  
Will you answer my prayer  
Please take me anywhere but here_

_**Anywhere but here.**_

They finished the song and stood up, the class clapped and Rachel looked over at Santana. She smiled at the diva, and she smiled back. Santana was the only one in the room that noticed how happy the diva made Quinn. She smiled genuinely, her eyes were bright, not dead like they normally were. The two sat down, directly in front of the Latina, and she could tell that the blonde was wearing the divas clothes. They looked good together.

Rachel let her head rest on Quinn's shoulder as the other groups got up to sing. Quinn's heart fluttered at the touch but she shook off the thought of that happening. They were just good friends, and she just wasn't used to that. Right?


End file.
